Evolution has made humans helpful. We have evolved as a species to be “prosocial,” behaving in ways that are positive, helpful, and intended to promote social acceptance, connection, and friendship. Asking for, offering, and receiving help have aided our long-term survival. That being said, there is a difference between being inclined to help someone and knowing what
Over a breakfast of lattes and pumpkin muffins at my local coffee shop, a colleague and I reflected on how weird it felt to be meeting people in person post-Covid. We discussed the awkwardness of handshakes versus fist bumps, whether to sit inside or outside, and what to say or do when someone coughs and
Several years ago, I traveled from New York to Geneva, Switzerland to be the closing keynote speaker for the World Communication Forum. I was excited to have the opportunity to speak with global leaders about how nonnative English speakers can present their ideas — and themselves — with greater clarity and confidence. For my allotted
We all need help. Maybe you need some support from your coworker in managing a demanding client so that you don't blow your cool--or the account. Perhaps you want your manager to help you reprioritize your tasks so that you can focus on what's most important this quarter. Or you just need your partner to drive
If you’re a manager, it’s not enough to be giving feedback to your direct reports. It’s part of your job to solicit feedback from your direct reports as well. As much as you might believe that you know your strengths and weaknesses well, without external self-awareness — an understanding of how what you say and
Some conversations feel more manageable than others. It’s easy to talk with your colleagues about the Netflix show you’ve been binging, the vacation you have coming up, or even the annoying coworker you have in common. Other conversations feel trickier, especially those where we are concerned about rocking the boat, worried about hurting someone’s feelings,
Wharton Business School Professor and best-selling author Adam Grant wrote, " 'That's just the way I am' is a missed opportunity for growth. Personality is not your destiny. It's your tendency. No one is limited to a single way of thinking, feeling, or acting. Who you become is not about the traits you have. It's what you
I was two years out of graduate school when I was offered my dream job. It had almost everything I wanted: work in a field I loved in a mission-driven organization, an impressive title, smart colleagues, global travel, professional development opportunities, and an easy commute from my home in New York City. But it was
In an ideal world, we would get to choose our boss. We would carefully consider who communicates effectively, leads with high emotional intelligence, can teach us the skills we need to succeed, can push and inspire us in the ways we want, can motivate us without micromanaging or under-leading, can coach us to grow, and
In my coaching work with leaders and teams, I often ask my clients whether they engage in workplace gossip. More often than not, they respond, “of course not!” with a look on their faces that indicates that they are insulted to have been asked such a question. But when I ask them whether they have
I take a Mental Health Day (almost) every Friday. It means that my four-day workweek schedule is pretty packed. It means that I run my errands on the weekend. It means that I say "no" a lot. And it also means that I often have to remind my boss that I need this, I want
A few months ago, my family and I moved to a new home. Among several decorating and renovating projects, we hired a team of four men to install carpets in the bedrooms. It was a long and hard day, and as I headed out to grab some lunch, I asked the project lead whether I
“Reach out if you need anything.” “I’m here if you have questions.” “My door is always open.” Chances are, you’ve said one, two, or all of these things as a people leader. And it’s highly likely that you not only said them but you meant them. After all, being available to your colleagues for questions,
"That's just not true." "I've never said that!" "Does anyone realize how hard my job is? If they did, nobody would say this about me." We've all been in a situation where we've given someone feedback, and they just couldn't--or wouldn't--hear it. The sting of learning how other people experience them was so hurtful, discouraging,
During the pandemic, my daughter Sophie started a clothing resale business out of her bedroom. Most days, she was boxing up sweatshirts, shoes, bags, and jackets that she bought at bargain prices and sold at a profit. When business was booming, she would have 30 boxes to fill, seal, and label in a single day.
